1. A new nationwide mandate in India will require all female civil servants to "write down their 'detailed menstrual history and history of LMP [last menstrual period],'" in order to more fully assess their health. Although the Indian government doesn't come right out and say it, the connotations are obvious: India wants their women to do their part in the war on terror. Are YOUR neighbor's harboring terror babies, Mr. Satyanand Mishra?
Via
BBC:"Women civil servants say the questions are a gross invasion of privacy. One told the BBC she was 'gobsmacked'."
Gobsmacked? Is that like GODSMACKED!?
"I'm not the one who's so far away, when I feel the snake bite into my veins. Never did I wanna be here again, and I don't remember why I came." - VooDoo
Maybe Godsmack dude needs to take some Ginkobaloba to help his memory.
2. California Governer Arnold Schwarzenegger spoke at Georgetown University today, urging "campaigners to focus on the positives of cutting carbon emissions rather than making people feel guilty." Never one to be without a blatant and ill-fitting body building analogy, much like his many discarded tankinis, Governator also had this to add,
via
BBC:"The movement must change its image just as [I] helped transform the 'sketchy' reputation of bodybuilding."
Adding
"Environmentalists were no fun, they were like prohibitionists at a fraternity party"
Finally, Schwarzenegger delivered the backward logic brain-fuck of our generation:
"Weight-lifting was once considered a pursuit for weirdos, he said, carried out in
dungeon-like gyms by people embarrassed to admit to doing it.
But with positive marketing 'it became mainstream, it became sexy, attractive, and this is exactly what has to happen with the environmental movement.'"
"Successful movements aren't built on guilt, they are built on passion."
I like what your doing there, Arnold. It's all about marketing, and like, social norms, and subliminal messages. So like, if advertisers want me to smoke, but it like, gives me cancer, they can make it seem really cool, like cowboys do it and stuff, and then I'll want to do it! And not only will I want to do it, I'll be like, INSPIRED to do it. And I'll be like, PASSIONATE about smoking three packs a day. T.R.U.T.H.
3. Pippa, a cockatoo at Nuneaton and Warwickshire Wildlife Sanctuary, has finally flown over the, umm, cuckoo's nest. You see, she has began to roost on a basket of Cadbury creme eggs, and won't leave them alone. So either she's crazy, or she's just like
every other woman I've ever known, and can't get enough chocolate! AM I RIGHT?
BBC:"Her owner, Geoff Grewcock, said: 'She went straight over, climbed on the creme eggs and that was it. She thinks they're her eggs. Until she clicks they're not real eggs, we'll just
leave her there.'"
The real star of this story though, is MR. GREWCOCK (seriously, lol). With quotes like these, who needs cable?
"She picked an egg up and threw it at a photographer with her beak as if to say 'leave my eggs alone. They're mine'.
She's got so much character it's unbelievable. She hates men - we've had a builder in who had his neck bitten. We had to prise Pippa's beak off his neck.
When she attacks you, she attacks your ear lobe - she goes straight through them. We do free ear piercing here."
Finally, Geoff admits what he's been hinting at the whole time:
"She's ever so comical - always has been."
-j
cars have inherited
